you go on dates, you talk to multiple people, noone catches your eye, you get tired of looking for that perfect person. you dont know what to do anymore, the weekly flings aren’t what you want. you date a guy on and off for a week or so and then you get to know their true colors and end it. months, maybe even years go by and you give up looking for that guy. you stop looking for them, you think to yourself, the perfect guy will find me, I’m done searching. Then months go by and you’re still single. you start to lose hope, thinking you’re meant to be alone. Then you go out with your friends and you have no intention of scoping out guys that night, you look cute but comfortable in jeans, uggs, and a sweatshirt. Your hair is done but you only have mascara on. Then you see him, that perfect guy. He’s standing in a group of his friends, your heart beat starts going, you can’t stop looking at him. You haven’t felt this way in what feels like centuries and you haven’t even talked to him yet. He smiles at you sending your stomach into a haze of dizziness. You wanna say hi but you forget how to talk, or flirt, it’s been awhile. Then your one friend knows his friend, and she walks over to say hey and hang out so you walk over with her, thinking this is your opportunity to make conversation. But before you go over, you run to the bathroom, fixing your hair, and making sure you look half way decent. He introduces himself, you talk and you realize, he’s the sweetest guy you’ve made conversation with in awhile. The night goes on and you feel like you have some kind of connection but you don’t wanna over think it because you don’t wanna jinx yourself. your friends are ready to leave, you exchange numbers and hug goodbye. His hug is overpowering. You don’t want him to let go. You wanna be held like that forever. You leave, a couple days go by and you can’t stop thinking about him, but he hasn’t texted you. You think to yourself, you probably over thought the whole situation, he didn’t feel the way you did. Then you hear your phone ding and it’s him simply saying “hey(:” Your stomach fills with butterflies and you answer. He calls you beautiful and asks how your day was. You have a great conversation. You go from once a week texting to two times a week, to three, then for, then every night. Then you get to know each other and the late night phone calls come into play. You can talk to him for hours and never get tired of it. You go on more dates. He asks you out. Life is great, and then you get to the wow im attached stage, and you don’t wanna see anyone else but him. You start ditching your girls and not going to parties because you’d rather be with him. He’s all you see. You can’t focus in school. You daydream about him. He’s all that’s on your mind 24/7. Then you guys become like best friends, you know everything about him and he seems to know every little thing about you, you fall in love. Now you’re really attached. You really cannot get him off your mind. You wake up to cute morning messages telling you you’re beautiful and to have a good day and that he loves you. Those little messages make your day and you count down the days until you see him again. You love him with all of your heart, you’d jump in front of a bullet for him. He’s your everything. Then months pass, you guys get more comfortable with each other. Which is good, but at the same time you notice little things, like they stopped with the good morning messages and the little surprises here and there. You feel like your connection is almost going away. you have your first serious fight, he picks his friends over you for the first time in 6 months. It aggravates you, but you let it go, you hang with the girls that you still have left. By the end of the night you’re texting each other that you miss each other and you love each other and you never wanna fight again. Things get better for a week, and then you’re fighting again but this time because he’s hanging with another girl, later on you find out she’s a childhood friend. You try to be friends with her but she hates you for no reason. So you start to hate her and then she causes trust issues in your relationship. But you and him work through it and once again you say i love you and it’s like nothing else matters. Then he starts picking her over you because she’s throwing parties and you don’t let it get to you, you just hang with your guy friends. He hates you for that. She posts pictures of him on her instagram saying “fun ass night with my best friend, i love you” it bothers the shit out of you and you have more trust issues now. You and him hang out and talk about it, you make up, no biggie, he said he loves you, everything is good, but is it really? one year goes by and he buys you a promise ring saying he loves you and promises to make you his forever. He promises to marry you one day. A month later he cheats on you with his childhood best friend’s older sister. He kisses her when the ball drops on new years and sends you a picture of it saying he’s done with you. You can’t breathe, your heart was ripped in half and cut into a million little pieces. The guy that used to be your everything, just shattered the world you created together. You don’t know what to think. When you try to talk, you cry. He texts you trying to make it better. You don’t talk to him for 4 months but every night for those 4 months, you cried yourself to sleep. You tried to move on, you went on dates, you even went out with a new kid, but you compared everyone to him, and no matter how good your day was, you still cried yourself to sleep knowing he would never hold you the way he used too. Then you slowly ease into talking to him again. You miss him like crazy. Your smile reappears and you don’t cry yourself to sleep anymore. You learn to trust him, you guys move forward, you give him another chance. You think everything is going to be okay. After 4 months of not seeing him, you get butterflies knowing he’s coming over again. Everything feels stronger then before. You’re positive it’s gonna work out. Then he goes to another party with the childhood friend and you fight but you’re always wrong because it’s his childhood friend. He says you have nothing to worry about. But deep down you’re still worried and scared it’s gonna happen again. You guys go on vacation together. Everythings great, it’s getting better, life is looking up. He’s your forever again. You can’t picture your life without him. The butterflies are back. It seems like he holds your world together. Without him, you don’t have your best friend or your soulmate. Then 18 months comes along, and he does it again. He promises to take you to the fair but instead you hear he took another girl and she posted a picture of them on instagram. You look at the picture and a bomb hits your chest.Instant tears start flowing. He calls you names now and treats you like nothing, yet you don’t wanna let go of him. Why? Because he’s your forever. Then you think something is wrong with you. What happened to you guys? You used to be one person and now you feel like you don’t even know him. Then once again, you take him back, and you go to a concert together thinking it’s gonna be a good night, but you guys are parked across from your ex, and the names just start flying out of your guys mouth calling you every name in the book. You didn’t even do anything. Then he dumps you and you think to yourself im not dealing with this shit and you go into the concert single with your friends and a guy kisses you. You don’t think much about it. Then your guy finds you and wants to make up with you so you tell him what happened and once again you’re everything in the book. You don’t know where that connection went. You’re scared of what could happen and what will happen. You think you’re completely wrong and you start to believe the names he calls you are true. You walk around with a frown scared to look at another guy because you might be a slut after that. You used to be free spirited and now you begin to think you’re just damaged and honestly you’re really not. You just need to find the girl you were before. You used to be head over heels for the guy that could simply smile, and give you butterflies. Now you’re confused. What happened to you guys?